Friday, September 7, 2012

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

I swear I didn't start this blog just to rant about my life-with-the-elderly.  So after this one, I'll break it up....

I'm sitting on the couch watching TV and Googling random things.  Larry comes in and begins the following conversation (I always provide a script) . . .

Larry:  *stepping in front of the TV*  Oh hey I was gonna ask you a question.

Me:  Ok.

Larry:  There's, uh, some sausage in there.  Did we buy that or did you?

Me:  It must have been you.  We don't usually buy sausage.

Larry:  Well it's some polish sausage I think.

Me:  Yeah we didn't buy that.

Larry:  Yeah.  Ok.  I should show you cause I don't remember for sure.

Me: *to myself* $*&^%&^%%^$&^&(*&*#*($$%##$@%#*****&&^%^% LARRY!!!!!!!!  We didn't buy sausage!!  It's yours!!!!  Why are you like this???

Larry:  *returning from the kitchen*  See here.  It's that, uh, polish sausage.  (Sometimes it seems he has a difficult time pronouncing foods.  Introducing him to jicama [HIK'-uh-muh] was a real treat.)

Me:  Oh they're like hot dogs.  No we didn't buy that.

Larry:  *walking back into the kitchen*  OH-kay.  Yeah it's some polish sausage.

Yes the package said polish sausage, but they're not fooling anybody.  They're hot dogs.

And then I made the mistake of saying, "Larry, even if we DID buy it, you're welcome to what we buy."  (They certainly share with us and we are very grateful.)

Larry:  Yeah I don't remember if I bought those.  Maybe I did...

Me:  You did.

Larry:  . . . I just don't remember.  I must've bought 'em.

You DID.

On a completely different note, I'll have to update everyone on the new adventure I have embarked upon.  Black Ops.  I feel like I was knocked to the ground by a speedy skater and then run over by a small car.  But more on that later.

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