But then later . . . I believe Larry truly thinks of me as a helpless idiot. Here is a list of things I'm too stupid to know/do:
- Do not give out (nor make copies of, and disperse) my house key
- If you use a wider mouthed glass, it might be easier to get ice out of the ice maker
- The blender can be disassembled . . . Wait, what?!
- Food goes bad
- The faucet drips? "You just have to make sure you push down the handle all the way." (I'll probably address the topic of plumbing tomorrow.)
- Avoid setting fires
I'm sure there are more, but my brain capacity is limited, seeing as how I'm an imbecile. I really wasn't aware of how little I know! I mean, did YOU know that food goes bad?? And to think that it's not desirable to set your home ablaze . . . my mind has been opened to so much.
|I really hope you're all smarter than me. This is crazy.|
I loaded the dishwasher last night. Included inside was the washable part of the blender (yes, I disassembled it all on my own. I'm actually not an idiot), 2 glass cutting boards, and a rubber spatula. It all fit just fine, btw. I put the bottom part of the blender on the shelf as Larry walked into the kitchen and here is our "conversation":
Larry: Oh there's a top part to that, ya know?
Me: Yeah I put it in the dishwasher. It needed a good clean.
Larry: (As he turns to walk away) Oh ok I'll have to wash that out later. It comes apart to clean easier.
Me: I know. Because I'm a human. I took it apart. It just needs to be cleaned.
Larry: Oh ok.
He left briefly, only to return to casually open the dishwasher and check my work.
Larry: Oh I don't know about those boards. I don't think they fit right.
Me: They fit.
He then pushes it in and spins the spinny part of the dishwasher to test it. They fit.
Larry: Well it just barely misses it.
But it fits. And he leaves. VICTORY! Right? Wrong. Because this morning I got up and when I went to the kitchen and opened the dishwasher . . . EVERY SINGLE THING I HAD PUT IN THERE WAS TAKEN OUT! The dishwasher had not been run because there were still things that had been in there from yesterday. He had taken everything out . . . including the rubber spatula! . . . and washed them and put them away. Fine. He decided to hand wash. But the problem is, he doesn't hand WASH, he hand RINSES. No soap! So I feel the need to wash things before I use them. That sucks, my friends. It's a bother.