Tuesday, February 14, 2017

The Zombie Virus

How is your Valentine's Day going, thus far? Better than ours? That's not surprising.

Picture this:

You wake up and it's pitch black. Your spouse isn't in bed and your toddler is just chillin. Is it morning, already? No. It's 3:45am. WTH?

So here's what happened. Liam got out of bed and went to the bathroom door where he began to call for Daddy. (You can't hide from him.) I got up, went over to him, and decided to change his diaper. We go in his room. I change his diaper. I try to think of the last time I got 8 straight hours of sleep. And then I feel dizzy. I think I'm gonna pass out, I think to myself. I quickly finish and pick Liam up (which, in hindsight, I probably shouldn't have done because I could barely stand) and rush back to my bedroom. I set Liam down on the bed and think, I made it. But no. There's more going on beneath the surface. Oh no. Here it comes. I turned to run to the bathroom, but remember it's occupied...... and there's nothing I can do. I double over and puke. And not just a little. On my hands and knees, in the dark, right on my bedroom carpet, I'm vomiting up everything I've eaten the day before, along with my dignity. Suddenly I realize there's a gigantic pile of dirty laundry next to me, so I could be throwing up on that instead. I moved a little to the left. It's still going!

Just as it's ending, Steven opens the bathroom door. "Are you okay?" Steven. Really? I mean really. I got up and tried to rinse the disgusting taste out of my mouth and clean off my face, and of course my hair. My sweet husband went to get stuff to clean the carpet, but then. You guys. It happened so fast. He came running into the bathroom, straight to the toilet. And he hurled his guts out. I kinda think he just didn't want to have to clean up my mess, so he said to himself, Self. Let's win this thing. It was a good effort, but we both had to clean up our own puke, so maybe there were no winners here.

Liam, of course, being the parrot he is, went over to his cute little miniature toilet and started leaning over the bowl and spitting. He just wanted to be a part of things. But he'd had his time! HE did this to us! At this point, I started worrying that he wasn't going back to sleep because MAN was he awake. But we were up for about 45 minutes cleaning things, anyway. At one point, I walked right through my yucky spot. I think there was cleaner on it then and most everything was cleaned up, but I went to the bathroom to wash my foot and decided it was a tender mercy because I was about to climb in bed with puke on my ankle that I hadn't noticed before. I guess the Lord was lookin out. #Blessed, right?

As we laid back down, we sort of laughed. What a great way to kick off our Valentine's Day.

So today we stayed in bed. No romantic dinner or candy or flowers. Just terrible sickness. We'll have to make up for this.

The best part is that it wasn't just us. Apparently almost everyone that was at our house on Sunday got sick, too. Lots of puking all over the place. Good times. And again. Our apologies.

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Tyranny in the Home

In my whole adult life, I've never felt more controlled than I have today. Today, Liam was the boss....... and rightfully so. He is so over this "school" thing. Every time I tried to do homework, he complained. When I'd open my computer, he'd shout, "NO!" And if I tried to sit on the couch, he'd pull me away. I also tried doing the dishes. He tried to help, at first, which led to one of my mixing bowls getting broken, but that's fine.... 😶 . And then he pushed me away from the sink. I tried to explain to him that Mommy gets embarrassed when people come over and the house is a disaster, but that didn't seem to have any effect. He'd made his decision. So now we're downstairs watching cartoons while I attempt to blog. He's sitting on my lap, though, and keeps pulling my hands away from the keyboard, so I'm typing this via my voice.

And now that's over. He's giving me a break, I guess.

Even though I'm not gonna get my homework done, and therefore fail all my classes, today was totally worth it. Liam got some good playtime and I got to spend time with my baby. He is becoming such a...... person! He's a person, you guys! He tries all the time to talk to me and tell me things and tell me what he wants. He's got such a personality.

Ok, he's dragging me away from the couch now.